Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Randomize
