Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
