She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
