I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
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