Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
