is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
