I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Randomize