i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
