Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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