just come out here and I will go home with you...
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
