either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
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