Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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