She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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