Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I think we might need a safe word for this...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
