i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
