I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
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