before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I cut my penus on the lid.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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