Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
