i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
