The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
