my mouth tastes like poor choices
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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