i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
