So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
