Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
