Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
