im six kinds of drunk right now
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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