I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
