I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
