I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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