I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I have fence marks all over my body
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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