Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Just invented taco cereal.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
