Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
