Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
