Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
