did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
love makes seman taste better
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
