he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
