I want you more than these girls want KFC
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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