toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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