Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
