i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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