dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
