The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
