I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
