you would pick up someone in the library
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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