Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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