The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize