Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
try to milk me bitch
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