omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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