so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
