Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
