god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
