why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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