Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
