Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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