I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Randomize
