Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
