yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
