I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
