you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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